The Gift of Feedback
I received some feedback this week from someone I trust and admire.
Someone who is new to my life with a fresh perspective and has walked a path similar to the one I now find myself on.
The path I have been moving toward my whole life.
Has me thinking about what noticing other people is and what that means.
A simple definition of noticing:
Noticing is careful attention that recognizes meaning. To see what matters.
In relational terms:
Noticing someone is the act of seeing them with enough presence, care, and specificity that they feel known.
This feedback was a gift.
I was noticed — and I felt what it is to be noticed by another.
This gift was given with care and specificity and presence.
A Common Theme
As I started to write about this, I remembered a post from a few months ago.
Different words, yet the reflection was the same.
“…I am here to tell people how amazing they are.
To hold up the mirror. To reflect their greatness.” - Kris Smith
I had forgotten.
I was a bit far away from it AND I was still noticing others. This just happens, it’s what I came here to do.
The Opportunity
There is a kind of support that only works if you are actually paying attention.
Not waiting to respond.
Not reaching for another framework or a model, or a pithy response.
Not trying to fix the person in front of you.
Actually listening to them. Noticing them.
Actually tracking the details.
Actually reading what they write.
Listening to what they say.
Taking in what they create.
Seeing who they are.
Actually caring enough to see what matters.
And then telling them.
Reflecting it back.
In a world with a deficit of gratitude and appreciation, there are gifts here.
To hear the person in front of you, to see them, so they can feel seen.
To tell them. To hold up the mirror and show them what you see and how amazing they are.
The world could use more of this.
I am here for it. I was made for it.
Superpower
“You have some sort of superpower of reflecting back to people their greatness, or what you see in them that would be helpful for them to receive.” - Mike Elliott
Feels edgy and boastful to write this.
At the same time, I know it’s the truth.
I have the evidence and the feedback from others in my life. People who know. Coaches, space holders, mentors, examples, friends of the highest calibre.
So fuck it, here it is:
My superpower is noticing others and reflecting their greatness.
It just happens.
It’s not something I think about.
I see or read or hear what people are doing and I reflect back what I see.
“…you are one of the best people ever at noticing people it’s so beautiful.
…A magical power of making people feel seen. It’s a superpower you have.” -
This is what I am building my coaching practice around.
Let me know if you want to be noticed.
Learn more here. Actual website forthcoming.
Reach out here: krisnsmith@pm.me
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